Kind Of A Funny Story
by Eubambami
Summary: An heiress with a controlling father gets into a sticky situation that she can't get out of on her own. A chance meeting with a shady thief with more secrets than positive qualities and a sly barmaid with a penchant for vulgarity may prove to be her only hope or her greatest downfall. Either way, the journey is bent to be full of hilarious mishaps. Gajeel x Levy (soft fluff)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello guys, I decided to try a soft fluff with a little comedy to get away from heavy and complicated writting. I hope you enjoy it.**

~~ Silent sedition, bridled liberties and broken fingernails~~

Sweat rolled down her throbbing temples and her nails hurt from digging into the intricate carvings on the wooden post - the bed creaking from the sheer force as she fought against the arms trying to pull her away.

"Dont be difficult." A cold voice rang in her ears and she looked across the room to the deep hazel eyes much like her own, a hard frown marring his face. He folded his arms against his perfectly tailored suit as he stood at her doorway, his greying coffee brown hair slicked back without a strand out of place.

"Think of your mother" He growled, his thin mouth twitching in anger. She did, trying her hardest to recall the face of the woman that gave her life and shaking her head when only a blurry image of a set of kind golden eyes and a warm smile entered her mind. She sighed, he always did this. Never finding it difficult to use the dead mother she never knew to force her into whatever 'duty' he demanded of her. That same scowl he had on now plastered on his face like she was somehow tarnishing her memory. Well not today, he would have to drag her kicking and screaming before she'd ever agree to marrying that dull oaf.

She winced as her fingernail broke and her grip faltered, the servant pulling her back swaying with the imbalance. Suddenly, her weak arms gave out, the momentum throwing her backwards to land on the maid with a loud thud.

"You disgrace yourself, but I will not let you disgrace this family" He continued and she hung her head, letting her wild blue locks shade her face. She didn't do it in shame, she had discarded that as well as her dignity a long time ago. She felt the carpet between her fingers and she grasped the rich fur. No, she just couldn't let him see the tears stinging her eyes, he would only see it as a weakness he could exploit and she was done letting him have his way. She inhaled sharply, her lips forming a hard line as she willed the tears from falling down her cheeks. Then she balled her hands to fists, dragging herself up to her feet. The tension in her hands caused the blood from her broken fingernail to trickle down to the expensive rug but she barely felt the pain, the slow stream wetting her palm as she faced the scowling man across the room.

"Father please" She tried one last time.

His eyes fell to her bleeding hand, brows pulling down sharply at the sight of the blood dripping to the carpet before those hard eyes were trained on her face.

"The business needs this marriage. Your duty-"

"I will not do it. I will not marry him"

Her father's expression was suddenly dark and tension sizzled in the air between them. He suddenly seemed larger than his medium sized build, his frame filling the doorway as he fixed eyes blazing with anger on her.

"You will do as I say, even if I have to drag you there myself!" He thundered and his voice sent a cold chill down her spine. She swallowed against the knot in her throat and kept her feet planted despite the weakness in her knees

"I will not-" The words had barely left her lips when he suddenly leaped forward and grabbed her by the arm. She lunged to grab the bedpost again but grimaced as her broken fingernail scraped harshly against the wood, her hand slipping off.

She tried to fight but her father's grip was strong and he continued undeterred by her struggle. She screamed as the doorway loomed ahead and a chilling laughter rang from beyond it. The sound had a foreign quality to it as it mocked her, echoing throughout the room to be imprinted in her mind. The doorway seemed to grow larger, sucking her through and she felt the sweat beading her forehead run down to join the tears that were now streaming down her face. She screamed louder but her voice was overshadowed by the loud maniacal laughter that seemed to draw in closer...

She woke up, sweating and panting. Her eyes scanning the room and breathing a sigh when she realized it was only another nightmare. She fell back to the bed with a huff. These nightmares were becoming a common occurrence and each one seemed more real than the last. She almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of her door slamming open and a body falling on her bed.

"Levy! Wake up!" Came the bubbly voice from her best friend.

"How much longer will you remain asleep?" She whined. Levy cracked an eye open, taking in the pleading golden eyes staring at her before she let out a sigh and rolled to her side.

"No" She mumbled through her pillows and she felt the sheets ruffle about and golden hair fall on her face.

"Come on Levy, you never sleep in...what's wrong?" Lucy asked and Levy sighed almost scaring her friend out of her wits when she abruptly sat up

"It's nothing" She murmured avoiding Lucy's curious gaze

Lucy cocked her head to the side, taking in the way her best friend for almost 20 years bowed her head, her shoulders slumped as she fiddled with her fingers

"Lev, you are talking to me. What's wrong?"

Another sigh before she mumbled, still looking away

"The dream..." she trailed and Lucy's eyes widened.

"Again?" She asked and Levy nodded. Now Lucy was worried. Ever since Lord Mcgarden had made the announcement that his heir and only child would be marrying his closest friend's only son, things had been in an uproar in the Mcgarden household. Considering the fact that his best friend's son is at least twice Levy's age and an absolute drudge, it was no surprise this news didn't sit well with Levy nor her for that matter. Worse still, Levy had suddenly started having nightmares. Atfirst they had been mostly ridiculous, involving Lord Berilan's son in ridiculous outfits getting kicked by a horse and other equally hilarious scenarios though recently they had begun to take a more sinister turn that left the poor girl waking up abruptly, sweating and clinging to her blankets. Worry creased Lucy's brows, she couldn't even bring herself to ask what this one was about.

"Lucy" Levy's soft voice broke her from her thoughts and Lucy turned to see a resolute light in the girl's eyes. She gulped, she had grown up knowing that once Levy had that look in her eyes, nothing could change the usually quiet girl's mind.

"I won't do it...I can't" She murmured and Lucy took in a deep breath.

"But what can you do?" Lucy grieved, eyes pleading as she regarded her closest friend.

Levy smiled and held her friend's hand in her own. She didn't like to see Lucy worry, they had been inseparable for as long as she could remember. Growing up with the Heartfillia mansion next door to her home, they had bonded over their love of books and their shared loss of their mothers at a very young age. They had protected each other from everything including their controlling fathers who ran large corporations, but now she would have to do this on her own. She didn't know what yet but she knew she couldn't involve Lucy and get her in trouble.

"L-Levy?" Lucy stammered when she didn't respond, eyes wide staring intently at her and Levy gave her hands a light squeeze, shaking her head

"Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid" She said reassuringly

The bell for dinner suddenly rang cutting of the barrage of questions Lucy was about to ask and Levy took the opportunity to lead the worried girl out the door.

"I need to get dressed and meet you for dinner, you know how Father doesn't like to be kept waiting" She said as she quickly closed the door behind her. She breathed deeply, her back against the wooden door. She could decide what to do later but first she would have to survive dinner.

* * *

"What!?" Levy exclaimed out loud before quickly recovering, her father giving her a stern look of disapproval at her lack of proper etiquette. It didn't matter that he had just dropped a bombshell that shattered all her possible plans or that he didn't care what input she might like to have in the direction of her own life. Under no circumstances, should she, an heiress to a substantial fortune, be seen uttering such a visible expression-at dinner! In front of guests for that matter! If Levy hadn't been reeling from his sudden announcement she would have rolled her eyes.

"But Lord Mcgarden, I wouldn't be able to see Levy if she is shipped off-uhm I mean taken to the Berilan Manor. It would be such an inconvenience to go to such a faraway place when we are planning the wedding here" Lucy intervened

"Don't worry about that my dear, I have spoken to your father and you will accompany my daughter to the Berilan Manor. I believe Levy should get to know her new home and learn how to fit in with her new family before the wedding."

Levy's hands had begun to shake as her father's voice faded to the background. Her vision tunneled in like she was sinking down a hole and she grabbed onto her fork like a lifeline as her heart thundered in her ears. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to control her ragged breaths while the room began to spin-

"Levy McGarden, why are you standing when you haven't finished your dinner!"

Her eyes flung open and she realized she was standing, holding her fork in her hand like a weapon. She took in the wide eyes of Lucy and the sharp frown on her father's face before gently putting down the fork and taking a deep breath.

"May I be excused?" She muttered

"You can't just leave your food barely touched. You should-"

He didn't finish before Levy walked out without another word, ignoring her father's sharp commands to return to the table and Lucy's quiet pleas.


	2. Chapter 2

~~ The Obscure Faces Of Fate ~~

 _Disgusting._

His nose crinkled at the strong perfumes permeating the stony walls of the hallway and his scowl deepened, sending the boy offloading vases of the stuff, scurrying in the other direction. He grabbed another vase, turning his face away in disgust as he stalked down the dimly lit hallway.

How he loathed the rich.

They thought of nothing but themselves and treated everyone they thought beneath them as less than human. They didn't care that a spoon of this foul substance could feed a family for a whole year, it wouldn't stop them from bathing themselves in it and splattering the hallways with enough to suffocate any able-bodied man.

Though what he hated most of all was having to work for _them_ to survive in this shitty town. To bow and scrape at their feet for the measly scraps they discarded, just to put food on the table.

 _OUT OF THE WAY!_

A frantic cry reached his ears and he had barely turned his head when he was shoved out of the way, his hands jerking down to keep the vase from crashing to the floor. He growled low in his throat, sending a glare to the backs of the two servants scurrying down the hall with goods on their heads.

All this fuss for some rich merchant's daughter, who probably wouldn't notice or even more likely - turn her nose up at the efforts of dozens of servants that have been running around for weeks in preparation for her coming. He gritted his teeth as he continued trudging down the hall.

Soon this place would be run with a bunch of insufferable, over-privileged brats strutting around the castle, dressed in ridiculous extravagance and looking down their noses at the people catering to their needs.

His arms tightened around the vase as the thought made him want to hurl.

He would show them one day, he would make them pay for everything he and his friends have suffered in their greedy hands. He could bet his life on-

"Gajeel, day-dreaming again? You have been lugging that vase around for more than five minutes!"

Gajeel's head snapped to the side, taking in the tall, dark skinned man leaning against the wall. The small scar running down his right eye had pulled with his brows in a frown and his thick calloused hands crossed over his dark fitted tunic, just over the Berilan seal sewn on it.

"Lil' not now." Gajeel mumbled.

The man's frown slowly dissipated to a small smile and he fell into step next to Gajeel.

"You've been slacking, you are lucky I noticed and not the Castellan or you would have been in big trouble." He said with a deep rumble coming from his broad chest, though when Gajeel spared him a glance, a playful twinkle danced in his light amber eyes that assured Gajeel there was no real trouble

Gajeel mumbled something about being a goody two-shoes and Lily laughed out loud.

"What I am is disciplined and would very much like to keep my job. Who knows, I could-"

"Yes Lil' I know, you could become Castellan someday" Gajeel finished, unable to keep the bitterness from his tone as he was reminded yet again about his friend's dream. He stopped suddenly, spinning to level Lily with a glare.

"What is so great about this place that you would want to become Castellan anyways? You know that means you won't be able to leave freely anymore and would have to live _here_." He said spiting out the last word in disgust.

Lily nodded, a small smile curling his thick dark lips further as he faced the scowling man.

"Of course I know, but I will also be in charge of the whole castle and I could change somethings for the guys downstairs. Make life better-"

Gajeel scoffed, "And be closer to the family upstairs, always at their beck and call."

Lily just shook his head. "They are not all bad."

Gajeel turned his glare in front of him as he continued walking down.

"I doubt that."

He eyed his friend from the side as they walked on, trying to understand how someone with such a difficult past could possibly be so optimistic about the future.

Being raised on the streets was nothing new in this side of town, half the people downstairs - himself included didn't have any family. But Lily's life had been different. He was barely a squabbling infant when his mother had abandoned him by the side of the road. And after that it had been one workhouse after another where he was tortured and mocked because of the color of his skin. Yet his determination to keep fighting against all odds had helped him survive and he had ended up here in the Berilan household. Gajeel did not consider that much of an improvement but Lily always shot him a dark look mumbling in low tones how it saved his life. He would always beam after that and the tenseness in the air would disappear. However, there were times when the rooms were quiet, and the alcohol had run dry, and they were sitting alone wasted out of their minds, that dark shadows remained in those smiling amber eyes as Lily slurred out pieces of his life before the castle - Those were the times he could really see the ghosts that still haunted the man. But those times were few and far between and Lily would never talk about it when sober-

"Took you long enough...the Castellan would be here any minute"

Gajeel's head whipped up as he was snapped out of his thoughts and he growled at the smirking man leaning against the door arch with two vases under his arms.

"I see you are almost done Natsu, without...breaking anything today...that's a relief" Lily said scanning the scraggly dressed man from head to toe.

"I know, bet Gray I finish before 'im today and he buys the ale." Natsu said, a sly grin curving his thin mouth upwards and his onyx eyes glinting with mischief as they slowly shifted towards Gajeel.

"Want to join? Bet I've got a stomach for two kegels of ale"

He said enunciating the word 'two' like it was the key to a well guarded secret. Then he suddenly burst out laughing, whipping his messy pink hair backwards as his thin but well toned body shook like a leaf in the wind. A vase slipped from his grasp in his mirth and it took Lily's catlike reflexes to save it from crashing to the floor.

"Haha...bet I should get going" He said, scratching the back of his neck, his chipped tooth exposed as he grinned widely, taking the vase from Lily's grasp"

Both Gajeel and Lily watched him slide through the door, shaking their heads at his clumsiness. How Natsu survived growing up in this castle under such a stern Castellan would always be a mystery. He was loud, clumsy, absolutely no skill or the slightest education despite how many times Mira tried to teach him and way too eager for his own good. Yet, somehow he survived year after year, on good nature and sheer will alone. Not that Gajeel hated the guy, they had practically grown up together and he was like a brother...if by brother one meant an obnoxious, loud-mouthed, stupid but... lovable pet.

Yes, yes.

Just like a pet.

"There he goes again grinning like a fool." Came a snort before steam covered his face as they walked into the large kitchen.

Gajeel's eyes narrowed as he took in the woman leaning on the wooden counter. She was straddling a large bowl on her hip with one arm, and a wooden spoon in the other. She had one leg crossed over the other, causing the skirt and it's inappropriately long slit to part further, revealing the whole length of one thigh and leg. She whipped her long brown hair to one side, her lips curling in a smirk.

"Cana, what on earth are you doing here?" Gajeel asked with a growl. He had never seen the wild barmaid too far from her father's tavern or it's alcohol, yet here she was, straddling a bowl in one hand and a spoon in the other, like some domesticated housewife and the thought made him shudder involuntarily.

"Always acting like you aren't glad to see me" She drawled, her dark brown eyes trailing down his form slowly as she shook her luscious brown curls from her face.

"Came to get Juv for a drink but got dragged in to help instead" She said ticking her head towards a small door at the back of the large kitchen before she added "...heard about the princess coming to visit."

"Merchant's daughter, Cana...told you a million times." A small exasperated voice called behind them and a blur of white hair whipped past Gajeel as the kitchen head hurried past them to the other end of the kitchen, handing out instructions to the kitchen maids as she went.

"Right Gajeel, please take the vases to the back for now, all store rooms are full." She said over her shoulder as she proceeded to another kitchen task.

"How much time do we have?" She directed at Lily, her hands wrist deep in dough and he shook his head, taking a glance towards the stairways clearly visible from the other entrance.

"Not enough Mira, the Castellan would be heading down any minute, and then everyone should begin heading out."

Mira let out a long breath, wiping the sweat from her brow and inadvertently coating her forehead with flour.

"There is still so much to do" She muttered to herself before suddenly looking up.

"Juvia!...JUVIA!" She screamed, and the blue haired girl with a flour covered apron peeked out from one of the rooms. She wrung her hands in her stained apron as if to clean them but they only came back whiter than before.

"Yes Mira, I have baked the pies, finished with the stuffing and kneaded the dough." She said quickly, her gaze flicking from Mira to where Gajeel and the others stood, and a shy smile ghosted her face before her gaze fell to her feet.

"Then please proceed to the cake, we have no more time." Mira said without looking up.

Juvia nodded quickly and took the bowl from Cana's hand. As she proceeded back to the room she had come from, Mira dipped a finger into the bowl. Her face scrunched up and she shot a glare at Cana.

"What did you do to the glaze?" She asked

"What? I turned as you asked and added the white powder on the table, precisely as you asked."

Mira ran to the table, inspecting the bottles and letting out an exasperated breath.

"Cana, you put in baking powder, I gave you powdered sugar." She said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"So what? They are both white powders." She defended but at the raised eyebrows and questioning looks directed at her, she threw her hands to her cocked hip.

"You asked me to help...I should be drinking by now but I am here...an..and it's your fault for putting a cooking bowl in my hands."

Mira sighed, shaking her head as she grabbed Cana by the arm and began pushing her through the back door.

"Just leave, you are no help"

"Hey, this is the thanks I get-"

"Juv meet me at the tavern later-/Juvia get started on another glaze!"

The other three watched the spectacle, both women's voices blending together as they struggled until the door slammed behind Mira. She stood with her hands on her hips, ignoring the muffled grumblings behind the door and regarded the people that have stopped what they were doing and were staring at her.

"What are you all staring at? Everybody back to work!"

The place suddenly filled with shuffling feet and people began scrambling back to their work.

Gajeel picked up his vase and proceeded to the back and Lily turned to go towards the stairs. He stopped, whipping around, his eyes wide as saucers, but before he could speak, the announcement bell rang through the room and everyone froze, heads turning towards the stairs.

"Shit! The guests are early!" Lily exclaimed. He had barely uttered the words when the Castellan could be seen flying down the stairs, barking orders at the servants.

Lily spun around, closing the door, then he ushered Gajeel towards the back, following closely behind.

"That last vase was mine! So it's 20 for me and 19 for you!"

"Dumbass! That's my vase, just because you can't count doesn't mean I should buy the ale!"

"Who are you calling dumbass! Dumbass."

"You idiots better stop that now and head inside, the guests are early!" Lily roared, and two sets of eyes widened as they turned to face him. The scraggy dark haired man dropped his hand from where it was enclosed in Natsu's shirt.

"Shit, this dumbass is going to make us look bad now" He said, his dark eyes narrowing at Natsu

"Oi, looking for a fight Gray?" Natsu said, butting his forehead with Gray's

"You think you can handle me-" "Ow!" They both yelped at the severe pain coursing through the side of their heads as Lily grabbed them both by the ear and began dragging them inside the kitchen.

"Gajeel drop the vase and come in now!" Lily barked over his shoulder.

Gajeel grunted, glancing at the swinging door as scurrying feet and voices became a blur behind it, then he gently put down the vase, straightened and let out a deep sigh

"Now the hell begins, lets go welcome her majesty" He muttered bitterly as he sauntered back into the kitchen.

The sound of the trumpet bellowing gave him a headache and it took everything in him not to yell at the trumpeter. When he turned back, Lily was signalling for him to take his place in the line up. He nodded, standing next to Natsu just in time for the carriage to pull up.

The servants rolled down the velvet rug and two women were helped out of the carriage.

He caught a glimpse of striking blue hair before the Castellan shielded his view. The Castellan profusely greeted both ladies before focusing his attention on the lady with blue hair. She was rather small, her milky skin draped in a thick shawl that fell to her midriff which she tugged on helplessly to keep her wild blue curls in place against the wind. Her large hazel eyes sparkled in the light of the blaring midday sun and her thick long eyelashes fluttered when she squinted to avoid it's intensity.

Gajeel watched her curiously from his post as she walked towards him, chatting cheerfully with the Castellan. From her richly bejeweled dress, to the expensive perfume emanating from her as she grew closer, it was obvious she was the embodiment of fortune and privilege; everything he hated about the upper class.

Yet as the blue haired woman smiled, russet cheeks taking on a darker hue as she walked passed him, nodding absently to the Castellan's incessant chatter, her small hand clutched tightly in the taller woman's arm, Gajeel couldn't help but get the feeling she was more miserable than he was.


End file.
